Apparently I don't know how to schedule a post, I'll have to work on that. I'm home, safe and sound and with my beautiful family again, and in some small way already missing England... this was supposed to go up yesterday:-
I'm not sure I will be able to put into words my exact feelings but I will try, I've scheduled this post to go up as I fly home. This has been a good trip for me, I grew up here in England and its a place that I love, the last ten years I have spend in the US married to my wonderful Eric have been great but I think I have always struggled with not really feeling like I belong in a place, in LA I am a world away from my home, family and close friends in England, when I come back to England things are different (or maybe its me), it could be that I have lived away from home so long that its hard to fit back in at my dads house and I don't 100% feel like I belong here either. Americans in general, (whether they mean for it to come across this way or not) always seem to have an attitude that America is bigger and better and I've never really understood it, I have to admit that I have even let myself get slightly offended by it, after all, England is a fully developed country. This visit however, things seem different to me, I'm used to the shops being open all the time, I used to come over here and couldn't wait to have all the things I'd missed like proper fish n chips, Chinese curry, kebab, sausage rolls, yummy chocolate but this time I am indulging less, I think I have found things in LA that I am used to now and like just as much. Maybe I have been gone too long, I am seeing things from a different angle, I used to think that England was actually superior and maybe I didn't really believe that but just defensively I did. The truth is neither is better, they are just different, yes most British people have a washing machine (for clothes) in their kitchen but its just how it is, different. The truth really is, that when I got on the plane in LA and I left my Eric and girls behind I felt like I was leaving my life behind, my life now belongs with them, wherever they are and no place is better than another unless I am with them. I am on a plane now, this trip has offered me some closure, I am heading home and I can't wait to get back.